Of Mistletoe, Reindeer Antlers and Horrible Timing
by Swiftchanted
Summary: In which Alicia Washington is stuck under the mistletoe with someone who she'd last be with, Zoe Shannon provides everyone with homemade reindeer antlers to wear, and Jim Shannon's horrible timing. Just another Christmas fic.


**Title: **Of Mistletoe, Reindeer Antlers, and Horrible Timing

**Fandom: **Taylor/Wash, Maddy/Mark

**Genre: **Humor/Romance

**Word Count: **3520

**Rating: **T

**Summary: **In which Alicia Washington is stuck under the mistletoe with someone who she'd last be with, Zoe Shannon provides everyone with homemade reindeer antlers to wear, and Jim Shannon's horrible timing.

**A/N: Normally I would insert some incredibly witty author's note right about now, but I'm brain dead. So I figured I'll just let you read the story. This story is totally disregarding the season finale. BAMF lovers, this is for you. And is it true that I'm starting a multi-chaptered fic? Maybe…possibly…you'll see. :) Anywho, this is your lovely Christmas present. So MERRY CHRISTMAS.**

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><p>Alicia Washington was a busy woman. She didn't have a lot of time for the nonsense that the Shannon women were planning. Mistletoe? Christmas parties? Did they think she had lost her mind? She was Alicia Washington damnit, she was Lieutenant, carried a gun, and she most definitely did NOT dress up in reindeer antlers and cover herself in glitter, singing blasted Christmas carols.<p>

She wasn't a person who was against Christmas; she just didn't enjoy the month building up to it. She found it pointless, useless, and ridiculous. It wasn't something she enjoyed doing. She'd rather kick a couple of Sixer asses, maybe fight off a couple dinosaurs, and then get to enjoy the victory ride home in the rover with Guz and Reynolds. That was her idea of a good time. Not joining around a fire sipping what Maddy called hot chocolate and practically bowing down to a giant pine tree.

It was Christmas Eve, the craziest day in Terra Nova. Alicia was ready for Christmas to come and then be on its way, she had one of the worst migraines in existence and all she wanted to do was go to bed. But Taylor had put her in the markets for a bit to make sure things didn't get too out of hand. She stood leaning up against a pillar, scrolling through things on her plex as she tried to ignore all of the damn insanity around her.

A figure coming the opposite way bumped into her, causing her to stumble a bit. She looked up to see none other than Jim Shannon. She scowled, setting her plex down on a stand nearby. "Damnit Shannon, watch where you're going why don't you?"

Shannon grinned as he patted Wash's shoulder. "Under the weather today Wash? Anything I can get you, Kotex or something?" Wash growled at the man. Shannon immediately backed down after that. He couldn't deny that Wash was his worst nightmare when she was angry. Although it was quite frightening, it came into a close second to seeing Maddy and Mark together. Alicia was one who enjoyed poking fun about the two and their relationship just to get a stir out of Shannon.

"Shut your mouth Shannon, I'm not in the mood," Wash said, her teeth gritted together. She watched as the Commander, Elizabeth, Reynolds and Maddy all approached them. Elizabeth rolled her eyes as she saw the look on Alicia's face.

"Oh honestly Jim, can't you go an hour without annoying her?" she chided, putting her hands on her hips. Jim grinned sheepishly, a hand resting on the back of his neck. Wash took this golden opportunity and punched Shannon as hard as she could in the ribs. Shannon squealed, doubling over as Wash chuckled a bit.

Maddy then began to tug on Mark's arm, jumping up and down like a child. Her father stared at her as though she was crazy. Elizabeth suddenly put her hand over her mouth, trying to hold in her laughter. The Commander raised his eyebrows as he just stared above Shannon and Wash. Wash then watched as Maddy and Mark had one of their infamous whisper discussions.

"I wish that was us."

"Please, your father would have my head."

"Think Wash is gonna explode?"

"You know it. What I'm interested to see is how your dad reacts."

"Please, my dad will insist he kiss a Slasher before he kisses her."

Kiss?

_KISS?_

She took that moment to notice Taylor staring at something above them. _For god's sake, please don't let that be what I think it is. _Jim tried to walk over to his wife, and Elizabeth shook her head as she pushed him back over to where Wash was. And of course, he bumped into her again. Scowling, she whacked him in the back of the head. She then turned to face Commander Taylor. "Sir, if you don't mind my asking, what exactly are you staring at?"

At that moment, little Zoe Shannon, the only Shannon who seemed sane at the moment, skipped up to her dad. "Daddy, now you have to kiss Lici!" Alicia's eyes almost bugged out of her head when the innocent little five year old used her nickname in the exact same sentence with the words _Daddy _and _kiss_. Shannon looked as though he was about to pass out.

"No way, I am _not _kissing her!" Jim protested; both hands up in protest. Elizabeth shook her head, pushing him back towards Alicia again. Wash looked at Taylor and Reynolds, hoping the two of them would bail her out. But Reynolds was too busy snickering with his girlfriend. _So much for Reynolds' support._ So she settled with Taylor.

"Sir, for once in my life, I agree with Shannon, there is no way in _hell_ I'm kissing him!" she said, her voice wavering. So much for ignoring Christmas all together, this mistletoe bullshit would ultimately be the death of her. To her surprise, Taylor shook his head as the smile on his face grew larger.

"Sorry Wash, but you're under the mistletoe with Shannon, you have to kiss him." In unison, Wash and Shannon both groaned. Jim continued to try and escape to the safe haven of his wife, but she continued to push him back under the mistletoe. For once in her life, Alicia wished that Elizabeth wasn't so stubborn. Closing her eyes, she threw her head back.

Little Zoe piped up once again. "Come on daddy, you said that friends can kiss! I kissed Jesse earlier under the mistletoe earlier and he's my friend, you can kiss Wash!" Elizabeth hugged the shoulders of her youngest daughter as Jim's jaw dropped down to his knees. Maddy giggled in response, and Alicia smirked.

"Are my kids out to get me?" he asked Elizabeth directly, but Elizabeth wouldn't listen.

"I will talk to you _after_ you kiss Alicia."

"But it's Wash!" Shannon whined, earning him another swipe from Wash. He rubbed his shoulder, glaring at her. "Hey, you know I bruise like a banana!"

"Oh for god's sake Jim, she's not poisonous!" Elizabeth groaned.

"She might be," Jim mumbled under his breath. Wash stood as far as she could from Shannon, disgusted. She wasn't going to kiss him. Maddy was partially right, Alicia was the one who'd rather kiss a Slasher than the idiot Shannon. Desperately, she looked over to her CO.

"Do I have to kiss him?" she said quietly, on the verge of getting down on her knees and begging to get out of this one. She'd take one of the OTG posts for a month if it meant not kissing Shannon. They were starting to cause a bit of a scene, and Alicia was starting to wonder if Maddy and Mark were asking people to pay two terras a person to see the badass Lieutenant Washington and the brainless fool Shannon lock lips.

"That's an order, lieutenant."

Alicia and Jim both groaned. They hated it when Taylor always hung that over them in any situation. Swallowing the bile that was coming up in her throat, Alicia closed her eyes. She then aimed for Shannon's cheek, but knowing her luck, he was aiming for the opposite cheek. So their lips locked for all of five hell-filled seconds. Everyone who was standing there began applauding. The second the two pulled away, Shannon turned around and began spitting. Wash whacked the back of his head. He looked up at her, and she smirked. "Just trying to be helpful, _friend_."

Maddy then walked up to the woman, beaming. She looked as though Mark had gone ahead and proposed to her, or maybe even the two had eloped. Alicia felt compelled to look at Maddy's left hand, but didn't. She knew it would be good material to taunt the buffoon that was Jim Shannon later on. Maddy then linked her arm with the lieutenant's as though they were best friends, and they began walking. "So did my mom tell you about the colony-wide Christmas party? I think she said she saw a dress in your closet, she wants you to wear it and a pair of her heels she left you, and there's some jewelry I think she said she'd lend you if you wanted it." As Maddy continued rambling, Alicia felt stunned.

"Whoa whoa whoa, not that I'm not interested in this whole, fun dressing up Christmas party idea, but who exactly gave your mom the key to get in my housing unit?" she asked, stopping short. Maddy shrugged and pointed at her father.

Alicia growled as she laid eyes on Jim. His eyes widened as he began to run far, far away from where she was. He couldn't help it though; an angry Alicia Washington was a terrifying Alicia Washington.

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><p>Five hours later, Wash was doing just what she <em>hadn't<em> been planning on doing. She was wearing an incredibly uncomfortable revealing black dress and a pair of Elizabeth Shannon's heels. She was hoping and praying to God no one recognized her, because she was absolutely mortified of looking like this. In the tiny clutch Maddy had loaned her was her gun in case one of the drunken bastards tried to get a little too close to her.

Her mouth still tasted like Jim Shannon, despite the good solid half hour she'd spent over her sink scrubbing her mouth out with soap. She was disgusted. When Maddy had come over to give the lieutenant the heels, she had looked at her curiously. "Wash, why does your face smell like soap?" she'd asked. And naturally, Wash had kindly thanked her for the damned heels and walked back into her room, leaving Maddy Shannon shocked.

There was a knock on her door and Alicia groaned. "The door's open, although if you value your life, you'll go away!" The door then opened to reveal none other than Nathaniel Taylor. "Oh god Taylor, I thought you were that monkey Shannon."

"Shannon's not a monkey, lieutenant, he's just got a horrible sense of timing and doesn't know when enough is enough," the CO stated as he sat down on her bed, watching her fumble with the ridiculous heels.

"Sounds like the definition of a monkey if you ask me, sir," she said, gritting her teeth as she continued to struggle with the tiny buckle on the strap. Taylor raised an eyebrow as she sighed in relief from finally succeeding in her quest to finish putting her shoes on. He then saw a pair of reindeer antlers made from cloth, obviously one of Zoe Shannon's creations with the help from her older sister.

"Did little Zoe Shannon convince the big bad lieutenant to wear reindeer antlers tonight?" he noted, leaning across her bed to grab the head piece. She closed her eyes, throwing her head back.

"You can't say _no_ to that kid! She's so manipulative, the eyes especially!" she groaned. She tried to stand up in the heels, but failed horribly, collapsing on the bed. Scowling, she began to take off the heels. Her CO just stared at her confusedly as she stormed into the bathroom, grumbling underneath her breath. "Damn…stupid heels…slutty dress…do I look like that type of woman…should have used my gun…"

She then emerged from the bathroom, still in the same angry state. Although this time she was holding the dress in her hand, wearing her usual camouflage pants and a black tank top. It was taking everything the Commander had not to just die laughing, as he found Alicia's anger quite amusing.

"Are we going to this party or not, sir?" she asked as she grabbed her gun and shoved it into the holster. He stood up slowly, stepping behind her.

"You're still irritated about your kiss with Shannon, aren't you Wash?" he asked, taking her gun out of its holster. Setting it back down on the nightstand, he pushed her reached out hand back. "You don't need your gun for any reason."

"So what if I'm still irritated?"

"Wash, when you got back here, you spent almost an hour scrubbing your mouth out to get rid of Shannon's…um…presence. I know you're not happy about it. But honestly Wash, you know he's not a bad man." Wash sighed impatiently as she slid the reindeer antlers onto her head. Taylor snickered, turning around hastily.

"Permission to speak freely, sir?" she asked sweetly, almost too sweetly.

"Not sure if I should, but granted."

"What the hell are you laughing about; you get to wear a pair also."

With a smirk on her face, Wash handed Taylor a pair of reindeer antlers meant directly from him. Alicia admired Zoe Shannon's creativity and her innocence which somehow captivated everyone she came across. Even if it meant wearing reindeer antlers. Taylor's eyes widened as Alicia nodded. "The only reason I'm wearing these things is because I heard Shannon was going to have to be Rudolph, and I figured if I showed up as a sane reindeer, he'd be all ashamed."

"You're out to get Shannon since he bumped into you, aren't you, lieutenant?" her CO asked, and the woman nodded. "Nice plan."

The two then left the lieutenant's housing unit and headed for the main part of Terra Nova, where already a few hundred people had gathered. The streets leading to it however, were practically deserted. As they walked throughout the colony, Wash stopped short. "Shit," she said under her breath. The commander raised an eyebrow and followed after the woman who was sprinting towards the market.

"Wash! Wa-_Wash, what are you doing?_" Taylor shouted as he jogged at a distance from the woman. She was in the exact spot she was in that morning when that…interesting…kiss had taken place. She knocked a blanket off one of the stands next to it, searching for something. He finally reached her, trying to calm her down. "Wash, what are you looking for?"

"Left my plex here. So help me God if someone's taken it…" she said through gritted teeth as she began to look under baskets and containers that had most definitely not been there earlier that day. Taylor sighed; the woman was being oddly high maintenance today. It hadn't been because of the kiss with Shannon though, that one was a bit given. Spotting the edge of a plex, Taylor gently grabbed it and pulled it out from underneath a blanket, handing it to the woman.

"This your plex?" he asked. The woman nodded, taking it from the lieutenant. "Wanna tell me why you're so high strung today? And don't say because of the Shannon thing, I know that that's clearly not the reason."

Wash sighed. "I don't know…I just find the whole buildup to Christmas overrated." Taylor nodded, looking up. The mistletoe was still hanging above their heads. "What are you looking at?" she added, looking up. Immediately she went silent. _The damn mistletoe will be the death of me, _she thought.

"We're under mistletoe, Wash." Taylor noted. She just nodded, swallowing nervously. Where the hell had he been before Shannon popped up like he always seemed to do?

"Sir?"

"Yes, lieutenant?"

"Permission to speak freely?"

"Granted."

"Kiss me, damnit."

Happy to oblige, Taylor rested his hands on Alicia's hips, pulling her closer to him. She leaned in and pressed her lips gently to his, cupping his face with both hands. She couldn't help but wish that it hadn't been Shannon earlier that morning, but instead the Commander. He kissed her back, both of them fighting for dominance. It was something only expected from two of the most downright competitive, determined people possible. _Why couldn't it have been you, why couldn't have been you, damnit Shannon for showing up at the wrong time, damn you Shannon, damn you Shannon, damn you Shannon. _The two of them gently pulled apart, Taylor's hands still on her waist. She smiled up at him, and then stood up on her tiptoes. Ripping down the mistletoe, she smirked. "Now I don't have to deal with this nuisance following me anymore. I can hang it in my housing unit for whenever you come over." Taylor just nodded in response, clearly liking the idea.

Right when they thought they were all alone, there was a rustle behind one of the stands. Being pitch black, they couldn't see who it was. There were footsteps, as though someone was running away in the opposite direction. Taylor waved it off and grabbed his second-in-command's hand, walking towards the pavilion. As they walked, Taylor flicked one of the antlers on her head. She ducked away from him, trying to hide the smile on her face. "You know Lieutenant; you're not as intimidating in reindeer antlers."

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><p>Jim Shannon ran like the wind.<p>

Yes, he had a horrible sense of timing. But he didn't think it could get much worse. _Up until about three minutes ago._

You see, he had been on his way to retrieve Alicia's plex. He felt bad about the whole kiss ordeal and remembered that she had not yet gotten her plex. So being the superhero he believed he was, he was going to get her plex, swoop in while they were at the party, and give it back to her. And hopefully, she would forgive him for the whole kiss thing. Score for Jim Shannon? Yes.

"Now where did she leave her-oh my god." Jim said as he ducked behind a pillar. There, only a few feet away, was none other than Alicia Washington-the damsel in distress- and good old Nathaniel Taylor, sucking face underneath the mistletoe. Pretending to retch, he turned around to walk off. No, scratch that, he was going to _run_ off.

He finally reached the party and began to look for Zoe and Elizabeth. He had promised the both of them dance and something to drink, both of which he had yet to give them. "Elizabeth! E-Elizabeth!" he shouted, struggling in the midst of the crazy dancing teenagers and the statue still adults.

Breaking free from most of the insanity, he spotted a brown headed girl. She was about Elizabeth's height, and he sighed in relief. They were finally going to get their alone time. _Hallelujah_. He had gone through too much today not to get at least a little alone time with his wife.

The brown haired girl then began to walk off, and Jim raised an eyebrow. _Where in heaven's name was she going? _Being the curious man he was, he began to follow her. And then he stopped short as he watched the brunette run into the arms of none other than Mark Reynolds. _Maddy_. He could feel his temper flare, and he started to listen in on their conversation.

Mark wrapped his arms around Maddy's waist and she wrapped hers around his neck. The two began to sway slowly as they murmured to one another. Maddy smiled, laying her head on Mark's shoulder. "I'm having a really great time tonight Mark," she said.

He nodded, pressing his lips to her forehead. Jim's eyes narrowed. "You know, I'm surprise your father hasn't come to find us and possibly murder me yet." Jim nodded a bit in agreement, at least Reynolds knew that he was always on the prowl and was always, always watching.

There was silence for a few moments, and in his mind, Jim tried to think of possible approaches for the much too happy couple. Should he grab a lone gun and fire a couple of shots into the air, scare the living daylights out of the two? Should he run up and pry Maddy off of Reynolds, then threaten the poor boy? Finally, Maddy spoke. "Do you feel like someone's watching us?" Jim closed his eyes, knowing she was onto him. Jim watched as Mark shrugged and began to lean in towards Maddy. Hell, he was off to find a gun. Trying to slide away, his foot piled up gravel, making a loud noise. Maddy gasped in annoyance, storming over to where her father was.

With his eyes closed, Jim waved at his daughter. "Hey Maddy, how's um…how are things?" Maddy's put her hands on her hips, staring her father down.

"They were good until you decided to spy!" she screeched. Rubbing his neck, Jim nodded.

"Well, you two kids, um, you two carry on, and let's not tell your mother about this, alright?" Jim rushed out before running off yet again. Maddy rolled her eyes in annoyance before returning to the warm embrace of Mark's arms.

As Jim ran off to find his wife, he began to think about the important things he had learned today. Never teach your youngest daughter that it's okay to kiss friends, especially boys. Never eavesdrop on your eldest daughter with her boyfriend. Never run into the irritated, with gun, extremely terrifying when angry lieutenant and then be forced to kiss her while the both of them are underneath a festive plant. And never, ever, ever, _ever_, under any circumstances, try to save said lieutenant's anything, because you might run into said woman and the Commander partaking in some of the…um…festivities with one another.


End file.
